30 Signs of Parenting Addiction

Random Observation/Comment #603: Conversations between parents are like therapy sessions. Conversations with a new parent and expecting parent are like coaching pep talks.

We love parenting. It’s really difficult and sometimes boring, but also unexpectedly exciting. We find ourselves obsessed with the learning patterns and impressed with not-so-impressive things. She’s taught us a lot about ourselves and given us a greater appreciation of life in general. We want to look at the world like she does – innocent, unassuming, and interested.

That being said, here are things we’ve been doing that are dead giveaways of our obsession.

  1. Randomly opening Gallery/Photo app on the subway and scrolling through photos of her
  2. Thinking about different puree recipes that would taste good and compliment what we’re having for dinner
  3. Looking at the leap weeks app to see if she’s having a good or bad week
  4. Coveting other parent’s baby gadgets
  5. Reading about her milestones and somehow super-relevant daily baby articles from apps
  6. Constantly over sharing parenting stuff to non-parents
  7. Constantly over sharing parenting stuff to other parents
  8. Constantly over sharing parenting stuff to inanimate objects
  9. Constantly asking advice on parenting stuff from other parents (even if they’re only 2 months “ahead” of you)
  10. Writing story-lines of children’s books that I’d like to read to her or make into a baby book series
  11. Taking advantage of every chance to take a quick photo of her laughing
  12. Envy sleeping past 6am on weekends
  13. Obsessing over school districts for houses we probably aren’t ready to buy yet
  14. Teaching her fun tricks like high-fives and dance moves
  15. Convincing ourselves that we really do need that miracle toy or accessory that will let her sleep longer, prevent any possibility of death, or improve her development
  16. Seeking out weekend parenting activities that she will be too young to remember, like swim class and baby yoga
  17. Obsessively checking her daycare app and hoping for photos
  18. Loving how we’re sometimes the only ones who can soothe her and watching grandparents try their old tricks without any luck
  19. Choosing to leave work promptly and work at home later so that you can pick her up and spend dinner with her
  20. Immediately empathizing with other parents likely because it’s also going to happen to us in the future
  21. Being totally interested when other parents’ talk about their kids and their latest developments
  22. Forcing restrictions on social media postings
  23. Constantly checking the monitor to watch her sleep and criticize her sleeping positions
  24. Coordinating outfits like socks with labels of the days of the week – “Sunday socks” on Tuesday? What are you, crazy?
  25. Secretly wanting them to stay this age forever (but then being even more happy and overwhelmed with every month)
  26. Rushing to the pediatrician at the littlest things – “Fix our baby! She’s broken!”
  27. Making sure she has a nutritious and “colorful” diet – literally giving her things of every color. Where are all the purple foods?
  28. Being petrified at all the things
  29. Keeping a scrapbook of the little things that make us feel like stalkers
  30. Writing blogposts on random topics about parenting to one day show her how much we love her

~See Lemons and Vnessa with an Eye for Parenting

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