The Bad Idea Bears

Random Observation/Comment #326: It’s a wonderful and terrifying thing to surrender control of the quite normal tendencies to, ya’know, know where you’ll be going on vacation. I wanted a spreadsheet so badly, but maybe it’s a good thing to let go a bit and live on the whim. You can’t get lost if you don’t know where you’re going, right? Who am I kidding, it drove me mad.

I have all the Koalafications
I have all the Koalafications

I waited, pieced together clues, and tried to pry the knowledge from any weak minded friends as the 3 months passed without knowing anything about my destination or what I’ll be doing there. All I was guaranteed was that it’d be epic and there would be tons of triumph photos. Being a part of the bad idea bears, I trusted this would be true – it’s always true.

Who are these bears? Well…. We have bad ideas, but you’re going to like our ideas. We travel frequently and dominate the places we travel to with triumphant photos and once in a lifetime experiences with great friends.

To be a bad idea bear, you must fit the following criteria:

  • Enjoy traveling to epic locations
  • Enjoy tasting new foods
  • Willingness to make new random friends
  • Tolerate photography stops (there are many)
  • Contribute bad ideas to the bears. Each bear is allowed one main bad idea per trip of which the rest of the bears should be lenient about obliging
  • Tolerate individual’s demands for bad idea stops
  • Have sufficient funds to travel
  • Cannot be tied down in the way of a relationship or job that doesn’t allow travel
  • Be frugal but not stingy as we will get awesome deals, but still spend a lot of money on each other
  • Have fun stories to share from previous epic travel locations
  • Easy going on itineraries and getting thrown under the bus
  • Able to handle terrible puns and bad humor
  • Everything that happens in bear country stays in bear country
  • Every bad idea bear must have a catch phrase: ‘yeaaaaa buddy’, ‘I got an idea, you’re going to like my idea’, ‘sounds like a plan’, ‘damn, that’s ill’, ‘that was… <point> <point> <point>… Your name in high school.’ ‘that’s my jam.’ ‘this looks really dangerous.’

Since we love to meet new people, we are welcoming new additions. To be a bad idea bear, you must be inaugurated through the democratic vote of the original bears to check your koalafications. Give us a bad idea and show yourselves doing it, and we’ll invite you to our trips. Warning, we do not plan well or -ahead or -of time, so sometimes we leave with less than two weeks in advance. Usually, these are long weekends or Friday to Monday.

Here are some of the bad ideas we’ve done:

  • Dog sledding on a glacier in Iceland
  • Fake gay bachelor party dressed in purple suits and dresses wine tasting through Sonoma valley
  • Drinking a cold beer in a brothel in the crime central of Honduras
  • Ate fish sandwiches from a marijuana dealer in Barbados
  • Driving 5 hours just to see a giant baobab tree
  • Jumping into the Atlantic Ocean from Islay, Scotland in February
  • Historical things we’ve eaten: puffins, whales, reindeer, guinea pig, lion, zebra, kangaroo, alligator, hakarl, horse, raw octopus, and llama.

You may think you are a bad idea bear, but you probably just have some of the koalalities. You can be an auxiliary bear, I guess, but we will review your application. Please comment with bad idea travels and proof of doing this idea. Triumph photos are a given.

~See Lemons with Bad Ideas

Leave a Reply